Greed and Envy living together
by Ritz the freak
Summary: Greed and Envy decide to live together....but who will do the house work!


Greed X Envy

A/N: This is a dare from my best friend to write this. I think its a good couple. I know I suck. If you don't think this couple, why are you reading this?

"I won't do it!"

"Aw, come on. I did it last time."

"Thats your job."

"No, it isn't!"

Ever since Envy and Greed moved in together, they fought everyday about the most gross job ever, cleaning toilets. It was always Envy's job but today, he refused. Greed was being his usual asshole self and refused to do it. That was the only part of Greed that Envy hated.

"Come on, Mom's coming!"

"So? That wrinkly bicth can screw herself."

"Shes my mother."

"Your point?"

"Your mother in law!"

"We're not married!"

"Close enough!"

"So you do it, palm tree boy."

"No, I did it last time sharky."

Greed by then was sitting on the couch, watching the french channel. It was after nine and the french channel was his faviote channel after nine. It had more sex than the bible and porn. Envy usually loved to lay with him while he watched it. But now he was just plain pissed off.

"Hey Envy, wanna know the worst part?"

"What?"

"Moofy's coming with her."

"WHAT!"

"Yea, she called me this morning and let me know."

"He'll break everything! Quick, hide the knives and the handcuffs!"

"Already hid the handcuffs."

"But the knives..."

"If we're lucky he'll stab himself with the knives."

"But mom will send us to the gate."

"No way, I'll kill her first."

"GREED!"

Envy by now had Greed by the neck and was sitting on him. Greed laughed at his lover. He loved it when Envy got like this. It always turned him on when Envy took control. "You know Envy, we could always fight for the right to do this." Greed said, smiling. Envy smiled back. "Loser cleans the whole house and gets tied down for the night." Envy said, accepting. Greed smiled and pushed Envy down.

They fought for a while before Greed finally pinning Envy down. "Ten count, one, two, ten!" Greed screamed at his lover. Envy groaned as Greed whispered in his ear, "You lose, Kobito." He rolled off Envy. "So, Plam tree, whats more comfortable for you tonight? On your back or stomach?" Greed asked, holding a pink, frilly apron they got as a gag gift from Lust. Envy put on the apron, rolling her eyes.

In the time of two hours, Envy cleaned the entire apartment while Greed watched the french channel. Envy sat on the couch with Greed when he was done, tired. "Ready for bed?" Greed asked holding up some handcuffs. Emvy groaned. "Hell no." He said, landing in Greed's lap. Greed pet his lover's hair gently. "Want me to drag you to bed?" Greed asked. Envy streched out on the couch. "Maybe I feel like sleeping here tonight?" Greed layed over him, smiling. "Your so funny, plam tree boy." He siad.

The next morning, Envy woke up in Greed's arms. The sex the night before was nice but he hated being handcuffed to the bed, that was Greed's faviote thing. Envy sighed and cuddled into his lover's arms. This was what he loved s much about Greed in bed. He was so gentle and liked to be held after sex. Envy's thoughts were cut off by a knock on the door. Oh, shit! It was his mother and Wrath! He could see though the window his mother didn't look to happy but wasn't looking over where they were.

"Greed, Greed. godamnnit!" Envy yelled pulling on the handcuffs. Greed turned over, pulling Envy on top of him. Envy winced when his arm was twisted by this new postion. He groaned when he heard the door being unlocked. He forgot she had an extra key. Now he fought more. These handcuffs were hard to break from. He groaned as he strated taking the bed with him. He gasped when he heard their bedroom door open. Dante and Wrath stood there at the doorway.

"ENVY!" She srceamed, hiding Wrath's eyes from the aftermath. "I wanta see momma." wrath said. Greed by then woke up and covered Envy with a blanket. "Hi, mom. I didn't know you'd come so soon." He said, faking a smile.

Greed

1992-2014

killed by his lover's angry mother

Envy

1992-2014

killed for having sex in front of his mother

couldn't get away

handcuffed to bed.

A/N: HAHAHAHAHAHA, funny huh? Yes, Dante


End file.
